Hecho en Mexico. Well, in Arizona they just passed a law or something that essentially says you can be stopped and asked for your papers if you are more tan than Sissy Spacek or that monk in that movie with the guy from Bachelor Party. We understand that the intricate legal details of the law were too esoteric to get it popularly passed but once pared to its essence: If you're brown you're goin' down, it went right through the legislature. Yes, it's true we're both immigrants. But not from parts unknown - from Mexico. 
Though we realize the two are almost always synonymous. While we pride ourselves on being transplanted yankee-doodles we thought we would take the occasion of the holiday yesterday to reflect upon our home nations, our adopted, beloved America, and the future we - guests in a nation of guests - must forge. For openers, let us clarify that while I (Petey) was born in Mexico, I (Sadie) came to your shores by way of a cultural exchange program from Puerto Rico though my ancestry is of course Mexican. This explains my love for Big Pun, Rosie Perez, and NPR (As loved by Rosie Perez). Where as I (Petey) recall romantic nights scavenging comida prehispanico via the dimly lit take-out stalls of Tijuana each painted with a scrawled "Taco Bell" logo to fool the gringos who came down with their high school buddies to score some Spanish Fly. Many an evening was spent in revelry there my friends. Which is not to say that a goddamn 2x2 cage in Puppies for Less isn't nice too. Anyway, we want to set the record straight that despite our flag waving for the good ol' U.S. of A. and our near perfect scores on the citizenship exam (Who knew that reciting lines from Nice Dreams would not qualify as American??) we are uniformly against this law. Without permeable borders who would white humans work in food service with during grad school so they could later claim bilingual on their Starbucks application? Who would keep Larry Merchant in a job? and who the fuck would live in Arizona? Proponents of this law claim that nothing in it will lead to racial profiling which of course is like saying that smearing yourself in bacon grease will not lead to us biting your junk. Please stop pulling our leashes, we are curious what jobs you feel they are stealing and what public systems you feel they are draining other than your swimming pools. Besides, if you were so concerned might you not learn from other ass-backward legislation like prohibition or the war on drugs or No Labradoodle Left Behind and see that this will not only alienate those non-alien residents who happen to skin more toward George Hamilton than George Washington (An illegal) but drive those alien aliens further underground and further away from measurable contribution until finally they just pop out of an astronaut's stomach like that other alien in Alien? What a field day for the heat. But its a dry heat.Hasta manana bitches
-P & S
No comments:
Post a Comment