Ahh, Dogs in the news. Yesterday's local picked up the story of Hunter, a 9 year old Bloodhound who's testimony is figuring prominently in the capture of some murder suspects. Bloodhounds, named after the 1980's 3-2-1 Contact! segment The Bloodhound Gang, the most successful pan-racial children's themed ragtag team up since Sesame Street (Don't say shit about The Backyardigans - they're like, computer made or something.) not the 90's medium successful mono-racial comedy hip hop group The Bloodhound Gang who were named after the dog have really good noses. How good? Like a bazillion times better than humans and pretty much better than most dogs. Bloodhounds are scent hounds and are relatives of the American Coonhound which is the most successful pan-racist dog name ever with the exception of the Greasywophound and the Goodatmathchineseador Retriever. Anyway good noses, and we here at P&SGO! hope that the testimony of Hunter stands and justice prevails though the controversy over canine expert witnesses as usual results in a parade of human experts to validate what everyone already knows: If you want some smelling done, you get a dog. What is amazing is that no one protests the successful use of our colleagues to sniff out bombs or waterfowl or the Frito you dropped under the couch last New Years. Even the military knows and we for one will not sit back while these doubting third tier lawyers bad mouth the United States military. Read on from above:
All dogs have keen noses, estimated at 100 times more sensitive than humans.
That is why they are used for sniffing out roadside bombs, termites, bedbugs, missing and dead people, contraband fruits on international flights and even some kinds of cancer. It is also why the military has been trying for years, so far unsuccessfully, to create an artificial nose.
Unfortunately, the current artificial sniffing research stands "in stark contrast to the innate ability of the mammalian olfactory system — specifically the canine system — to handle these challenging tasks with ease," said Jon Mogford, program manager for the Department of Defense RealNose project.
Even when compared to other dogs, bloodhounds stand out.
Wow. Artificial sniffing research - you thought Area 51 and Hangar 18 had secret alien stuff when all the while those dorks in the desert looking for lights in the sky were really getting their taints wafted out from under the sand by a giant mechanical proboscis. Which recalls the earlier:
Anyway, the point is don't put us in the hurt locker if our testimony won't hold up in court. If the nose don't sniff you must watch Turner and Hooch.
Ciao
-P & S
No comments:
Post a Comment